Written by Sandy Rose
Many couples experience periods without sexual intimacy. A “dry spell” can mean something different for everyone. Whether it has been days, weeks, or months, if you are wondering how to reconnect sexually after some time apart, these tips can help.
Common Reasons for Dry Spells
- Differences in desire, changing libidos, or preference for other forms of closeness
- Busy schedules, stress, health concerns, or major life changes
- Medical issues or changes in physical ability
- Relationship tensions, unresolved conflicts, or communication challenges
How to Initiate Intimacy After a Break
- Be honest: Start the conversation with openness. Acknowledge the gap and share your feelings. “I’ve noticed we haven’t had sex in a while. Can we talk about it?”
- Soften your approach: Use vulnerability, not pressure. Focus on connection instead of performance.
- Prepare for any response: Be open to the possibility your partner may not be ready. Stay curious rather than taking things personally.
- Try a new mindset: Approach intimacy gently, as an invitation to connect. See “rejection” as a timing mismatch, not a personal failing.
- Start small: Seek closeness with conversation, cuddling, or light touch. Allow intimacy to grow naturally.
What If Bodies or Sex Feel Different Now?
- Take a beginner’s mindset: Use this moment to rediscover each other, asking what feels good and what is new.
- Give yourself and your partner grace: Bodies change and that is normal.
- Remember that awkwardness is part of the process and can even be something to laugh about together.
Practical Tips for Breaking Out of a Dry Spell
- Lower the pressure: Let go of expectations for “perfect” sex. Focus on enjoying pleasure and closeness.
- Embrace the excitement of rediscovery: Treat intimacy after a break as a fresh experience, full of possibility.
- Communicate afterwards: Talk about how it went and what would feel good to try next time. Honest conversation helps keep connection strong.
How Togetherness Therapy Can Help
Relationship dry spells often signal deeper patterns of disconnection or unmet needs. At Togetherness Therapy, we provide tools and support to help couples rebuild physical and emotional closeness in a warm and nonjudgmental environment. Couples therapy can help you explore what led to the dry spell, learn strategies for reconnection, and ease conversations that might otherwise feel uncomfortable.
Connect with Sandy Rose or learn more about couples therapy and sex therapy at www.togethernesstherapy.com