Written by: Dr. Rossana Sida
Asexuality is a spectrum
Asexuality is often misunderstood, but it actually includes a wide range of unique experiences. People on the asexual spectrum may experience little or no sexual attraction, or only feel sexual attraction under specific circumstances. Understanding these variations helps us recognize the complexity of human sexuality and encourages greater acceptance.
Asexuality: The Basics
Asexual people may not feel sexual attraction, but can still have deep emotional connections and fulfilling lives. Asexuality is a natural part of the sexuality landscape and belongs in LGBTQ+ conversations. Identifying as asexual does not prevent someone from dating, forming romantic connections, or enjoying meaningful relationships.
The Asexual Spectrum
Asexual (Ace):
People who do not experience sexual attraction. Some enjoy touch, cuddling, or close friendship; others may not.
Gray-Asexual (Gray-Ace):
Individuals who rarely or only sometimes experience sexual attraction, often under very specific circumstances.
Demisexual:
People who only feel sexual attraction after building a strong emotional bond.
Aromantic Asexual (Aro-ace):
Those who experience little or no romantic or sexual attraction. Aro-ace individuals may still value partnership, deep friendship, or intimacy in their own ways.
Romantic Asexual:
You may experience romantic attraction and form romantic connections, but are not interested in sexual activity.
Side note:
It is not always easy to know where you fit on the asexual spectrum. Low desire or changes in attraction can be influenced by stress, parenting, health, hormones, or other life events. It is normal to have questions about what shapes your experience with intimacy.
Asexuality and Relationships
Asexual individuals build all kinds of relationships. This may include traditional romantic and long-term partnerships, marriages, or queerplatonic bonds. The important thing is that each person can define closeness, intimacy, and connection in ways that work for them.
Alternative intimacy
Many asexual people express closeness through nonsexual means, like cuddling, shared hobbies, or supportive gestures. Togetherness Therapy supports couples in navigating mismatches in desire and building connections that work for both partners.
Communication and boundaries
Open, honest conversation about needs, comfort, and consent is essential. Respecting each other’s boundaries creates a foundation for authentic connection.
Queerplatonic partnerships (QPPs)
QPPs are committed relationships that go beyond friendship, but may not involve romance or sex. These bonds show that connection is not “one size fits all.”
Celebrating all shades of (a)sexuality
Honoring every experience on the asexual spectrum helps everyone feel seen and valued. The team at Togetherness Therapy offers a welcoming place for exploring identity, building confidence, and supporting satisfying relationships, however you define them.
About the Author
Dr. Rossana Sida is a certified sex and relationship therapist at Togetherness Therapy. She has experience supporting clients across the asexual spectrum and understands the unique challenges and strengths of asexual individuals and couples. Dr. Sida is dedicated to helping people explore identity, build confidence, improve communication, and create relationships that reflect their authentic needs—whether or not sexual attraction is part of the equation.